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Radio Activity - “Do you glow in the dark?”
Smell-o-meter - "When was the last time you washed your sheets!?"
Damp Detector – ‘Ring the landlord about the roof. Tell him you want one.”
Boredom Score – “Nothing to do and no one to do it to.”
UFO Detector – “UFOs are real, it’s the US Government that doesn’t exist.”
Offworld Alien Detector – (them) “Welcome to Planet Earth.” (you). “Greetings Earthlings.”
High Status Indicator – (you) “No need to stand, we’re quite informal here.”